Long distance relationships

I’ve always drawn the short end of the stick when it comes to love.

Long distance relationships are tough. Not everyone comes through with it, but half of my close friends are in one.

The truth of the matter is, even if you like low maintenance relationships, you will get to dislike long distance relationships. I can’t count the numerous times when I want to call my boyfriend when I have an emergency, or I want to tell him something, but I need to type that down on Whatsapp instead, because I don’t have a cheap way to call internationally and so he’s not on my speed dial. I can’t count the numerous times that I have brought up concerns about where this relationship is going and whether we have a shot in making this. He has always been optimistic, uplifting, caring and kind, but I am grouchy and a wet blanket. I know it gets tiring and waning, but I can’t help and say how I feel.

For me, the hardest part about being in a long distance relationship is to have all your close friends back home. I can’t go out with them when I want to, when he’s not available to talk. And that part is tough. The part where I’m in a city, I have friends, but no, not close friends, my family and close friends are mostly back home, and my boyfriend is in another country. How messed up is that?

I am not old, but I’m not getting any younger. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t want to spend my 20s waiting for something that might not lead to anything. Yeah, I lose faith like that sometimes. It’s depressing how weak I am, but then again I am only human.

And then there are times when I long to start on a clean slate. Move back home. Get my shit together. Find another person to fall in love with and hope the nagging feeling goes away. But I can’t pull the trigger because at the very end, I love him and I want so badly to make this work. Whenever I get into arguments with myself, I try to rationalise and think that this period of being apart is inconsequential in the bigger scheme of things. I meet my friends in the city and I find out that even though they are their boyfriends live in the same city, they have bigger problems, potential deal breakers and big fights. My boyfriend and I have spent almost a year and a half together in the same city, and now that we’ve been apart for almost a year we haven’t had any big arguments. So should I count my blessings because I feel like we are doing better relatively speaking or should I fight for what I truly deserve — a relationship whereby we both live and work together in the same city.

When we get to see each other, it’s magical. We are amongst the happiest people in the world. But we are supposed to take those 48 hours of uninterrupted bliss with us and make it last for the two weeks we don’t see each other. How does that math sound like to you?

Maybe I do sound entitled because I feel like the boyfriend and I deserve happiness together. It’s not that we’re unhappy now, but we need a bigger plan than planning to be together in the future. And I guess what I am ultimately trying to say here is that if you want to go into a long distance relationship, you need to be patient and you need to be as understanding as you possibly can. It’s easy to lose patience, as I have, time and over again, but don’t lose sight of your final destination — and try to enjoy the journey to the best you can.

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