The Single Pool

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and never voiced this out so here we go.

I’ve been in this relationship for more than a year and we’re in the year to year-and-a-half midpoint. There are times and some weekends that we spend little to no time with each other either because either one of us is travelling or working and that does really suck. Over these weekends, I use whatever time I have to catch up on sleep, go out with my friends, talk to my parents, do household chores, work out, read a book and go for walks so it isn’t too bad.

The Boyfriend’s not going to be in town for more than a month so I have to constantly fill my weekend calendar. Last night, I went out with a couple of friends after work even though I felt extremely exhausted as a friend of mine’s leaving London and it’s her last Friday in the city. When The Boyfriend and I dated each other prior to being in a committed relationship, I’d bring him out and we’d meet my friends, go drinking etc and we’d easily finish a lot of alcohol in a night. Once we got together, we started drinking less and became a sporty couple who goes out biking, hiking, exploring, running etc rather than a drink-at-home couple all of which contributed to a gradual decline in our drinking capabilities. We’d go out with friends and not be able to drink a lot. So you can imagine what happened to me last night when I drank more than I am used to these days!

After hitting a few places and meeting new people though, I realised that while I do enjoy getting to know new faces, there are just times where you feel sad. I remember being a single person in “the single pool” and having a great time, but I also remember how terrible it was to have to go through dating, screening new men and realising that most of the good men are taken or gay (true story). If a guy’s not taken by a certain age, there is a really good reason why.

The Single Pool is not a place you want to be in. I’m not advocating being in a relationship but just spending a night in the single pool made me realise what a lucky person I really am. I used to really enjoy my single life and all the freedom that came with it. I used to dislike being tied down, but at the same time, I remember complaining to my best friend how each guy I’ve met was so disappointing because of a dozen different reasons. You can always tell when a guy is not sincere or when he has a certain scent of eau de douche. It was nearly impossible to look for someone who had neither of those qualities and I know friends who are still looking, and honestly, I don’t have anyone to recommend to them. I don’t know if their expectations are too high, or should they lower them because it’s not possible to find someone in the city?

Anyway I hope I didn’t come out sounding very anti-single, because I’m not – I spent most of my life single and enjoyed it! The point and purpose of this entry is just for me to say that I am honestly grateful for meeting The Boyfriend. Our relationship is really steady and solid so far, and at times that did make me wonder if I’m missing out on something but going out into the single pool world makes me realise how lucky I truly am just to be with the person I love.


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