The past week has been fairly hectic with a friend’s wedding, an event and some family stuff. I’ve a terrible canker sore (mouth ulcer if you will) for a week now, and am trying all kinds of remedies imaginable to get rid of it – Vitamin C from OJ, drinking plenty of water, rinsing my mouth with salt water, avoiding spicy and fried food and eating like a rabbit. I refuse to try the baking soda or ice cube method. It just sounds too painful and gross. :s
Anyway, back to topic. Weddings! I don’t particularly enjoy going for them, save for the fact that I like to see my friend(s) happily married to the person they love. The problem is that you are asked tons of questions in weddings.
From this wedding alone, here are the least harmless to the crazy mad questions I was asked:
The easiest: 1. What are you doing now?/What exactly is it that you do?
The mildly rude: 2. You have a boyfriend?! How is he like? How does it work that he’s from a completely different culture than ours?
And the rudest: 3. Aren’t Europeans really horny?
Excuse me? I hate it when people generalise. It’s not like all Asians are nerds and Swiss people are punctual. (Okay, all the Swiss I know so far are really punctual. No, really. But Asians are absolutely NOT all nerds… I know too many lazy Asians who believe that their life’s calling is to play video games.) Why do people generalise an entire nation or a continent? Has that served anyone any good in the history of mankind? And why are some people just so socially awkward – or rather socially awkward enough to ask inappropriate questions? I don’t examine every inch of your sex life, so why should you do the same? To be honest, if I didn’t have any respect for my friend who was getting married, I would’ve asked the person who asked Q3 to just shut her trap and focus on her food.
Ah yes, the food. In my culture, going for a wedding entails a big dinner with about 400-500 guests on average. To me, this is just ridiculous. Every single family member in the book that can be invited is invited. The guest list reads something like this:
1. Immediate family and spouse’s family
2. Extended family (cousins you’ve never met or barely meet etc)
3. Boss and colleagues
4. University friends (that’s me), pre-university friends
5. Bridesmaids and best men
6. Your family friends/your parents’ family friends
7. Neighbours (if applicable)
8. Any other random person you can think of and is somewhat relevant to your life
When I told The Boyfriend that “I’d like to have a small wedding”, I meant just that. I counted the number of first aunts/uncles and first cousins, in addition to my parents, as well as a couple of friends and their partners. The total comes up to about 40 or 50ish from my end. Okay, maybe that isn’t that small, since I’d be happy so long as my parents and five of my closest friends turn up.
That didn’t sit well with him.
Me: Have you thought about the kind of wedding you’d like?
Him: Yeah. I’d like a small wedding; probably one in a church. I like the idea of a formal wedding.
Me: I would like a small wedding too! How many people are you going to invite [to your future wedding]?
Him: Hmmm… my parents and sibling, and maybe ten friends and their partners. That makes twenty three people.
Me: *goes silent when I realise that his small wedding is really small*
Him: How many people would you invite?
Me: Ummm… 40 or 50?
Him: 40 or 50? That’s many!
Me: But you don’t understand! Weddings in my country typically have 400 guests!
Him: *stunned silence*
I’ve since got him to concede that 40 is an okay number. He’s really nice to me. 🙂
Weddings is always a fun topic to talk about with boyfriends, because you get to realise what differing expectations you and your partner have about the perfect wedding. Even though it lasts for a day, it is one of the most significant days of anyone’s life! I guess it’s always better to talk it out now – if you want your reception to be elegant and classy, the last thing you need is to hear your partner expressing a desire to turn the whole reception into a night club “in reminiscence of the old times”.
And nope, the boyfriend doesn’t want that. Hurrah!